CATS MONTHLY!
(DOT NET!)
REGARDING CATS!
Such a cutie!
Cats are vile creatures, perfected by mother nature over millions of years of evolution for a single purpose: killing. Gaze deep into their soulless eyes — you will find only a bottomless, unquenchable lust for murder and death.
Don't you just love them?
CAT FACTS!*
- If cats were human-sized, they could jump like 60 feet (20 metres).
- Cats are so adorable -- and sometimes they do the darnedest things!
- Have you ever noticed how cats never flex a single muscle unless they have to? This is because they are ruthlessly efficient killing machines. When they feel like it, cats can move with deadly lightning speed.
- Sometimes cats kill just for fun! The phrase "something the cat dragged in" refers to the way cats leave dead things lying around in your house.
- If your cat thinks you are a kitten, he or she may do you the favor of maiming something within an inch of its life and bringing it to you so you can learn how to finish the job.
- Cats love tuna fish! They can hear a can opener from like a mile away (5000 metres).
* NOTE: Not facts. More like "tidbits" or "factoids".
Copyright (c) 2013-2018 by Matt Duffy Chidley. All rights reserved.